If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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