just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
