dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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