Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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