why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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