Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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