i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
