I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
my liver is dry heaving
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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