I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
