The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I will pee on everything he values.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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