People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
