I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Also, beer. Big fan.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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