This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
