dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
