Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
