Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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