We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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