Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
