What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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