SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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