remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
