We need to rekindle our bromance
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
