Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
