I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
