So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
