I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just pee around me
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
