how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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