You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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