Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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