He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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