Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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