barbara walters just said penis...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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