she looked like the before picture.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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