I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
