Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
