We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
