I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
