we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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