But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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