I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
