Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
