How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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