Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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