Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
