didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
drinking out of a sandbucket again
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
