the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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