nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
