she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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