I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
