Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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